“The best relationships aren’t posted all over social media.
The social media has become the major platform for information exchange and interactions all across the globe today. Outstandingly, there are numerous beneficiaries of social media amenities; the business world, news agencies, not to mention relaxation social media networks like Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Instagram, We chat etc.
Strangely, what I describe as an unusual custom or rather use of social media channels has greatly come on deck with an extreme gravity of course. To hit the nail on the head; exposure of relationships on social media is what this article is particularly voicing out. Today, it is practically evident that Facebook is normally amid the first to know; when a funeral hits somebody’s family, when one’s wedding feast approaches, when somebody is about to travel abroad, when one gets new a job , when one buys a new car, etc. To be more specific, I’m particularly basing my focus on Facebook in as far as relationship exposure is concerned; footing on the fact that it the mostly used social media network worldwide.
Mysteriously, it has become a daily routine for some couples today, to post different kinds of items on Facebook, each giving out insights about the fitness and strength of their relationship affairs every now and then.
Today, Facebook has been turned into what I can call a lover’s diary. Undesirably, what this trend has resulted into is total confusion and boloney in the sense that not only pictures of rose-flowering moments shared by a couple are exposed, not only love notes on special days like valentines, Christmas, birthdays and anniversary commemorations are laid open on a public audience. But also confidential relationship issues that can rob the security of one’s relationship as well as cause some sort of bewilderment among those that react to those posts.
If truth be told, it is indeed a pity that what seems as a means of; displaying loyalty, breeding trust and showing off to friends and family; has some hostile downsides and negative consequences all in all. However, I’ve brought to light some of the pitfalls of exposing a relationship on Facebook that have come to my apprehension:
Being a Facebook user, I frequently come across posts of this kind; ‘’baby I never intended for any of that to happen. I am so sorry that I really put you through all that pain, please find it in your heart to forgive me, we can start all over again, please forgive me’’. Although these might not be necessarily the exact words that everyone else could use, but nevertheless, it is clearly high lighting a message of apology.
Furthermore, let’s assume such a post was drafted by a man, I don’t mean to be judgemental though. In most instances, when a man makes such a post, he probably expects not only his partner to react to it. But everyone else that comes across it as well; and that is precisely where confusion comes in. In response to such an attention capturing post, other friends will drop various comments while others will like it. Wait, let’s pause a little on the ones that react to the post by liking it; honestly, who can tell the essence of their like? What really is there to like about a post carrying a message of remorse? Could their like be pointing towards the prospect that the man screwed up, or are they happy that he is apologizing? Whichever the intention behind their like might be; not even the drafter of the post would really grasp what the like is all about.
Generally speaking, such posts only give birth to additional confusions so to say. Therefore, to dodge the miss-perception that such matters bring about, it is better off not to expose relationship issues of this kind on social media platforms.
Why wash your dirty laundry in public?
Facebook today has also been turned into what I describe as a lover’s amends diary, which certainly shouldn’t be the case. A relationship under normal circumstances is made up of only two people. Apparently, at times, especially during moments of indifference’s, it becomes usual for one or two close friends of the partners to step in and help patch things up. First and foremost, I am no relationship guru or counselor but I know for a fact that certain issues especially those that are attached to indifference’s between the partners are better off dealt with within the two partners involved; for the health of the relationship of course “The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook” (Your tango.com). Furthermore, with reference to the post I made allusion to in the first sub-topic; if speaking under a realistic tongue, I can’t really get the point that the drafter of the post was trying to prove by making an apology on a public domain. Such actions make me wonder; could he have been caught in bed with his girlfriend’s best friend or what? How deep could the fault he committed be? Well, whatever the case could be, exposing his mistake on a public domain is simply pressing the red button. Furthermore, I don’t think that there is any couple that has ever had everyone’s support and good wishes, not even that of Jack and Rose. Hence displaying apologies for flaws committed is clearly alarming the enemy that it’s high time they strike. “Don’t let people know when your home isn’t happy, that’s when outsiders think they’re welcome in.
In fact, why not express regret by hitting her inbox and do their relationship’s security and privacy a favor. Besides, certainly not all the people on your friend list care about your love affairs. So why be so ridiculous; by creating a cycle of annoyance and get on other people’s nerves with your limping love life?
Moreover, it is even becoming some sort of tradition in our day for a partner to complain about something regarding their relationship by posting it on Facebook, on the public audience to make matters worse, than to directly discuss it with their partner. Cautionary, my impression over such silly behavior might sound harsh, nonetheless actions of this kind are literally premature, silly and irrational if truth be told. Therefore, I wholeheartedly hope that young couples in serious relationships will get to realize that if such mind-games persist, their relationship can be in danger of suffering tremendous burdens of shear ruin and complications. “Talk to your partner and stop letting inboxes, likes, re-tweets ruin what you’re trying to build.” — Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
To be continued… Stay linked with Zambian tunes to read the next edition of this article…
By Akabondo Simutanyi
This is an on-going article, intended to keep users linked to Zambian Tunes.
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